Hate mail.

Dear professional development presenters, old and new,
I can do the following things:
1. Read. On my own. Without you reading it out loud to me.
2. Work in groups without you telling me how although I would prefer to...
3. ... work by myself without you needing to walk around and ask me what I'm thinking about whatever asinine thing you asked me to think about.
4. Pick up on when you've run out of crap to talk about and are just bs'ing your way along for the last 30-45 minutes. Let me out early. I won't tell your supervisor.
5. Although I already mentioned that I can read, I would like to add that I am a fast reader.
So if you give me a crap-ton of time to read something to myself, I'm going to finish it early and pretend like I'm doing something really important on my palm pilot when really I'm just playing this addicting flower petal matching game. And secretly punching you.

You are wasting my life away. And, while I'm at it, don't ask any absurdly open ended questions to a group. You KNOW there are going to be some mindless suck-ups who are going to keep the conversation going for so long that it takes all of my BEING not to smack them and yell, "Do you not REALIZE that every WORD you SAY keeps us in this place LONGER?!! Are you an IDIOT?! Have you NOTHING better to do with your LIFE?!"

So. Get on that. I've got stuff to do.

Sincerely,
Sara A. Hinshaw