Working is no fun. I don't want to do it anymore.
With that said, here are some fun things to throw into my blog update:
1) There is this unbearably cute little Hispanic boy in my summer school class. (I'm teaching 1st grade math.) He has black hair he spikes up in the front and little glasses and wears polos. And has crazy ADD. And sounds like Speedy Gonzales.
Me: "Oops- honey, you forgot to write your sentence using the word 'five' in it."
Speedy: "OOOOOOh- I can't WRITE!"
Me: "Ok. So you tell me what you want to say and I'll write it down."
Speedy: "I have a dog." (Are you doing the Speedy accent in your head?"
Me: "Um, thaaaaat doesn't have the word five in it buddy."
Speedy: "Ummmmm... I have a dog with a bone!"
Me: "Ahhh... nope. Still need to have the word five in it."
Speedy: "Hmmm.... I have a dog five!"
Me: "Yeah. Let's just go with 'I have five dogs' ok?"
2) There's a damn rabbit colony eating my garden. I feel like Mr. McGregor in Peter Rabbit. Except I'm for real going to start shooting them. Well, probably not, but Ryan has been dying for something to shoot with that shotgun he won up north and he DEFINITELY would for real. I have to call the township about shotgun usage in the public sector first though...
3) My refrigerator broke, but not enough to get me a new one before my home warranty is up which is really irritating. I tried to get the guy to just say that I needed a new one.
Refrige guy's helpful advice: "Yeah, you know? You should really have two fridges. In case one breaks like this. I have two at my house. It's a good idea."
HEY FRIDGE GUY WHO IS ANYTHING BUT HELPFUL! DO YOU THINK THAT IF I COULD AFFORD TWO FRIDGES I WOULD STILL BE USING THIS P.O.S. ONE THAT CAME WITH THE HOUSE? I'LL ANSWER FOR YOU- NO. NO I WOULD NOT. SO UNLESS YOU'RE GOING TO GET ME A NEW FRIDGE, SAVE YOUR 'GET A SECOND FRIDGE' TALK FOR SOMEONE WHO CARES.
Stupid fridge.
4) My grass is completely dead. It sounds like you're walking on sticks- all crackly-sounding and stuff. I didn't water it at all- my grass needs to be reseeded anyway and I have to pay for the water when I use a sprinkler. Letting your grass die is the best lawncare secret. Do you know how long it's been since I've mowed? Like a MONTH. It's awesome.
