Mostly, it comes down to this...

I've gone through a couple of temper-tantrum-ish episodes with wedding related nonsense in the last few weeks, (one involving me face down on the bed whining, "I don't KNOW how long it will take me to get ready! Don't you think if I KNEW I would have already DONE the photographer's timeline?!"), and he is still marrying me and bought me this. : )

Two trucker stories.

On my way down to my grandma's in Indiana last weekend, I encountered two special truckers.

Special Trucker #1: As it happens, I am sort of a peeping tom when it comes to driving. I like to look around and see who is driving what, what they have in the back of their car, how many stuffed animals people cram into the small space between the top of the back seat and the window. (One time Michael and I saw this car that was completely full of STUFFED PANDAS. Seriously- there was a full size one sitting in the passenger seat. You couldn't even see through the back seat windows. It was fantastic.) Anyway, truckers are fun because they have those huge side mirrors so you can see their trucker faces before you're even nose to nose with them. HOWEVER, sometimes they catch you staring at them, much like one did on I-69. And he honked twice when I drove by. Which is a bit unnerving, particularly when I've done some informal research and found that they do this more in the summer when you're wearing shorts than in the winter when you're bundled up. Not that I'm like, always staring at truckers or anything. This is longitudinal research, conducted over a span of years.

Special Trucker #2: I did not stare at this trucker. I did, however, stare at the back of his truck on which he had spray painted: HUMPIN' AND DUMPIN'. As my grandma's is a decent drive, I spent a lot of time thinking about what this might mean. I can see where maybe trucks would dump loads I guess, but I couldn't come up with anything for humpin' that I feel like repeating. My cousin suggested that maybe it meant humpin' over the bumps on the road. I don't feel so solid on that one...

While we're on the subject of inappropriate word combinations though, another slot in that category could be filled with the McDonald's billboard I saw this week. It was advertising some sort of breakfast steak wrap revulsion which said: Wake me. Steak me. I couldn't decide with myself whether that bothered me because it sounded like more like a death plea or as being remotely suggestive... Inappropriate. Either way.

Next...

I have been on Ryan to pick a song to dance to at the wedding with his mom for weeks now. Here's a sample for how this is going:

Ryan: I like that Eric Clapton song. That one about his son falling out the window.

Sara: IT'S ABOUT HIS SON FALLING OUT A WINDOW.

Ryan: No one else knows that.

Sara: EVERYONE knows that.

Ryan: I like that song. What's the name... I can't remember.

Sara: Tears in Heaven, Ryan.

Ryan: Oh.

Sara: Yeah. No.

A fun date.

Once, my friend Kristin and I got a gym membership to this piece of crap gym in college because it was super cheap. And you got a free personal trainer session with your piece of crap membership. So the guy we got a session with was a boxer. He was sooooo nice that he gave Kristin and I EXTRA sessions for free! And asked us both out. But we were together so it was like, a double date except he was both of our dates. Which, in guy eyes, made himself feel super cool. Sadly, the only reason we said yes was because he had some... boxing related intelligence issues that made conversations hil-arious.

So, we say we'll drive and go pick him up. We go to his apartment to get him and he does the little tour thing which is lame because he's a college guy and he has no furniture and what he has sucks. But then, we get to his bedroom, and he has a couple of guns laying out on his bed. And, in explaining this story, this sounds a bit frightening. But, keeping in mind the boxing-to-the-head situation, here's his response: "Oh! Oh man! I FORGOT to put my guns away. I've got a gun collection. Nothing much or anything..." And here's what our look to each other says: "You are the lamest guy ever because CLEARLY you just made your bed before we came over and put those guns on there to look cool. Ri-DI-culous." And then we went out for a drink at a local crap bar that I don't like because it's too smoky. And THEN we took his gun collecting ass home and made lots of fun of him after we left.

The end.