Hate mail.

Dear *&%$ jerks who
A) rammed into my front bumper the other weekend in the parking lot and,
B) puked all over the side of my mom's car I borrowed tonight,

As a rule, I don't hate people. If, however, I did hate people, I would hate you. You are bad people. And I hope that Santa did not bring you anything for Christmas. If I find out that he did, I am going to seek you out, run your presents over, and then puke on them. I am sure that you have black hearts.

Sincerely, Sara A. Hinshaw