Two lists of two things that are completely unrelated. And one is disgusting.

Two things that my friend Jared who works in a hospital told me today:
1. Once a woman came in who was so sick with some kind of... um... toxic something or other that feces was coming out of her bellybutton.
2. Once a guy came in who had tried to kill himself, but failed, and ended up blowing the bottom of his face off. So his jaw was gone, but his tongue was still there. Jared described it as looking like an exotic plant that was all open. Apparently, they somehow sewed his face all up so that it was just like a little hole where his mouth should be.

I do not want to work in a hospital, but those are disgustingly fascinating stories.

Two things my grandma said this weekend when I was visiting:
1. After taking our heart rates at one of those free things at the grocery store, it turned out that my heart rate was nearly half of hers. My grandma's flatline response: "Well no wonder you're hungry all the time. You're barely here. You're practically dead, Sara."
2. During the Easter service sermon, I whispered to my grandma that I liked the ring she had on. My grandma's response: "It's my bling."