Weirdness at the podiatrist's.

Today, I went to the podiatrist to get my ankle looked at which has been obnoxious since the marathon. (It's fine, no worries.) So, I'm waiting to check out, and this OLD woman is talking to the receptionist and she's got a roll of toilet paper on her cane. Which was weird enough. Like, most old ladies stuff a wad of it up their sleeve. This broad wasn't playing around. So she's all done and she says good-bye and then she turns back around to the receptionist and says, "Is this environmentally safe toilet paper?" And the receptionist goes, "I'm not sure." But she's a good receptionist because she makes it sound like it's a totally normal question to be asking. And Kleenex Lady says, "Natalie said you can get environmentally safe toilet paper at Sam's. Is this it?" And Receptionist Lady says she'll go see. Which then really threw me off... Like, did she steal that toilet paper from the bathroom at the doctor's? And who the hell is Natalie?

Then, I went out to my car and there was a condom still in a wrapper on the sidewalk.

That's one craaaaaazy podiatrist.

Aaaaaand.... Favorite quote back from Thanksgiving break...

(Drawing a picture of himself riding a bike. There is no bike though. And really, only a head with scribble shapes under it.)

D. "Ms. H.? (He is trying out this new nickname for me. I don't know.) I need a new paper... I made myself look like a dog!"

I laughed really, really hard. Because he really was just a head with squiggles under it. And because he said dog like this: dawwwg.

Things I could only life without if I really, really had to.

1. Lip gloss. I freaking love lip gloss. It's actually past a love relationship. It's more like an addiction actually. I love all kinds of lip gloss. A tried and true version that I especially love is Rosebud Perfume Co. Strawberry Lip Balm. It smells fabulous, it's shiny without being sticky, it actually makes dry lips feel better, and you can even use it on dry skin as a balm. Heaven in a pot. A really cute pot.

2. Trident gum. Original. I love lip gloss more, but Trident and lip gloss are on the same level of addiction. Trident holds it's taste just long enough for me to want to spit it out anyway, and it isn't this huge burst of flavor that some gums do that makes me feel like I'm swallowing mouthwash. Plus, a whole bunch of sticks are in one pack; especially beneficial for the addict in me.

3. My Ipod. I know that I haven't had it long enough to fit the time test neccessary for this particular list, but some form of music player will forever be on the list. I can't imagine going through life without music. I COULD imagine life without running into my house with my car while trying to select music, but... c'est la vie.

4. My rings. I have 4 silver rings that I never take off: a thin silver band with crosses all around it that I wear stacked with a thinner band that says 'faith', a Claddagh ring Lola got me from Ireland, and a toe ring I got from France. I feel naked without them on. Well, maybe not naked, but weird anyway. Weirdly naked?

5. Catboy. Even when he eats all of my ponytail holders and kitchen twist-ties, even when his crap makes me want to puke in my mouth, even when he gets hair ALL OVER THE FREAKING HOUSE ALL YEAR LONG AS THOUGH HE SHOULD BE COMPLETELY, UTTERLY HAIRLESS, I still love him. We talk a lot about my day. He doesn't say much about his day because when he does it pisses me off because all he does is complain about how I turn the heat down to 60' during the day and it's hard for him to take naps like that. (You can ignore that last part if it makes me sound so crazy you don't want to be friends with me anymore.)

6. My journals. I've kept journals for-EVA. I love them. All really cool and smart people keep journals.

That's all I can think of right now. I feel as though I need to get something posted soon to stop people from asking me when I'm going to post a new one. So here. And here's a picture of my highly entertaining Hinshaw cousins. Just because I didn't have sunglasses on does not mean I'm uncool. I just... didn't have any sunglasses. OK?! Ok. Good. Because I AM cool.

FAVORITE STUDENT: WEDNESDAY UPDATE

I'm not sure if everything that D. does is funny, but I'm pretty sure that if you don't think it is, you have a crappy sense of humor.

Yesterday...

D- (Running to his desk, grabbing his book, and jumping up and down, yelling hysterically and pointing to his table partner): "She broke my book! She broke my book!"

Me- "No she didn't."

D- (Stops jumping): "Oh." (Sits down and starts looking at the book.)


Today...

(D. is sitting at his seat while the rest of us are at calendar time because he never remembers where his spot is on the carpet and spends his time licking things such as his hand or the carpet instead of moving to his place.)

-Student T: "Ms. Hinshaw! D. cut his haaaaair."

(I dismiss the class to their seats to work and D. comes up to me.)

-D. (Holding the back of his head): "Is I bald-headed?"

(I look under his hand where he is, indeed, bald headed. I start laughing. A lot.)

-Me: "Yes. Yes, you are bald headed. That was not a good choice."

-D.: "I was growing an afro!"

-Me: "Well, it's gonna have a hole in it now."

(D. spends the next 5 minutes holding his head.)

-D. (Comes up to me.) "Who cut my hair?"

-Me: "You did."

-D.: "Oh. Can I go to the office for having a good day?"

-Me: "No. You cut your hair off. Do you think that is a reason for a thumbs up?"

-D: (Holds up his thumb.) "This is my thumb."

-Me: "Um. Yep. You're right. Go sit down."

He's totally my favorite kid.

Reasons why I am a big girl.

But first, Quote of the Day (by a student we'll call D. because, let's be honest, all of these gems are coming from the same kid):
-While sitting at group time, D. takes his shoe off, puts it on his head, turns to the girl next to him and says, "I'm a hot dog." Hm.

And now...

1. I just wheeled TWENTY-SIX 30 gallon yard waste bags out to the curb for pick-up day, all of which I bagged myself.

2. I cleaned my gutters this weekend. With a ladder. By myself.

3. I haven't cried in front of my boss this year.

4. I am going to start managing my money via Dave Ramsey. I keep thinking of this one Sex and the City episode where Carrie has bought so many shoes that she says that she is going to literally be the woman who lives in her shoes. I'm soon approaching the woman who sits in the alley and listens to the hundreds of dollars of iTunes songs she downloaded to her iPod via the damn, one-click ordering option.

5. I hooked up and programmed an electronic thermostat this weekend. So that I can save money on heating and buy more iTunes songs. Or, I mean, save for retirement. Or something.

6. I met with my home & auto insurance guy and set up tax-deferred annuities and investment options for retirement. Except, I made him do everything for me because he had me take this REALLY HARD survey where you had to say all this crap about what kind of investments you want to make and how much turnover or something or other and so I had him fill it out for me. I'm cool and trusting like that. Then, when I had to pick what stocks I wanted, I told him I didn't know that either and couldn't he just tell me? He said no. But then I looked so lost and sad that he would point to one and read me the details and say, "How do you feel about this one?" and that was like our code for "Get this one, clueless girl" and I'd say, "Hmmm- that looks good. Yes." I wish I would have had us pick code names too. Hindsight is always 20/20.


Completely unrelated thought: If I could survive on edamame and cottage cheese alone, I probably would do it. I think I could also add graham crackers and Fluff onto that list as well, but if not, edamame and cottage cheese would be awesome.


Look how smart Catboy is. He's probably the smartest cat ever. He can read too. All of those books.

My favorite student- Quote of the Day:

"Is when you cuss, is your head catch on fire?"

Dead serious. And seriously scared. Because he had obviously just done so.

Inappropriateness at the art museum.

Today, I took my students on a trip to the art museum. It was kind of a bad choice. Here are some highlights:

-Student picking gum off of the pavement.

-Student poking a dead squirrel with a stick.

-Student singing these song lyrics: "I'm in love with a stripper" while walking among the artwork.

-Student's pants falling down repeatedly which may or may not have shown his underwear with a skidmark on it.

And my personal favorite...

-Ryan came and helped me chaperone. He's pretty fabulous. :) So he took some of my boys to the bathroom. My favorite kid, who has some.... issues.... put a crapload of hand soap in his mouth and started frothing bubbles out.

Interestingly, one of my girls did that last week too. Whoooooo puts soap in their mouth?! Sick.

Important side note. Ryan bought me this pink dirt devil which I am in love with.

Aaaaaand, here are some pictures.

Ryan loved this hat. Couldn't get enough.

Jess and I with some random Batman kid.
Tyler and I cheering. I'm a really good cheerer.