A school list.

Things that have happened at school in the last few days that bear mentioning:

1. I waited outside the open door to the girls' bathroom and was forced to listen to one of my students who vomited at least 12 times so I could walk her to the office to go home. It was loud and completely revolting and I thought I was going to have to puke too. Upon re-emerging her words to me were, "I knew I shouldn't have eaten that hot dog."

2. One of my... slower students... told me that we used to eat worms. I asked her when that was. Her response: "Back when the Indians were born. We fried them." Oh.

3. I waited outside the boys' bathroom after one of my students threw up all over his table in the classroom. Afterwards, I asked if he was ok. His reply: "Yeah. I'm straight. I just had to get that out."

4. A couple of weeks ago, two of my boys told me that somehow, glue had gotten on their desks and that they couldn't get it off of their fingers. They were really upset and said that it was burning. Although I found this odd, I was in the middle of Science Fair HELL and had 8 different experiments going on at one time in a class of 24 and frankly, could care less about my kids' fingers getting glued together. (Can you still finish this *&%$ science board before the fair? Yes? Then SUCK IT UP!) This week, one of them again complained about gluey fingers. "Where is this glue coming from?" I asked. "I dunno! It just keeps getting on my hands!" After school today, his pencil box had fallen off of his desk and opened. Laying there right in the middle of the mess was a little tube of Super Glue. Thus, my boys had been gluing their fingers together and then freaking out about it. Hmmmm. Fun with a capital F.

On an unrelated note, I finally took down my Christmas tree this week (rather, Bryan did) because on the same day that my female student puked, Catboy threw up all of the fake Christmas tree needles he'd been eating. I don't really want to talk about or see puke again for a long time.