My favorite game.

So I am starting to feel bad that you guys are leaving me comments and I don't respond. I guess it's not like emailing and then me not emailing you back but... I still feel bad. So I'm going to try to start responding to your comments on the comment page you left one on. So even if you never check, I'll get rid of this incredible guilt that is keeping me up at night. So thanks a lot.

Also, you should respond to this question: Would you rather have a face like a cat or not have a nose- just those two holes?

(It should be explained that this is Laura Winther and my favorite game. It is imperitive to go beyond the "Would you rather have no arms or no legs" crap. That is for babies and amatures. Also, none of that nonsense like "I'd have no nose because then I could get plastic surgery and put one on." NO. No, No, No. Take it as it is- no alterations. I also do not care if you all think I am a nut job right now. Most of you know me well enough to have had to play this game before with me. And I probably am a little unbalanced anyway. So answer the question.)

Here are my thoughts: I would rather have a face like a cat. I don't really like either option, but those nose holes creep me right out. It's like a skeleton with skin. Granted, I would probably die very much alone if I had a cat face, but I think that maybe I could still manage to talk to some people out of the sheer weirdness of it. Or maybe they would just think it was a mask or something. At least long enough to get to know me. No nose... too freaky for me.

Now you... :)

March of the Penguins.

I don't really have anything entertaining to talk about, but I kind of like getting on here when I get home from work so I will tell a short story now until I have something worthwhile to talk about later.

I am going to tell you a story about the movie, March of the Penguins.

When I moved home from NYC in August, my sister wanted to see this movie badly and I, having spent a year away from her, agreed to go with her and her then fiance. This movie is a penguin documentary. All penguins, all the time. At one point in the movie, it had these horrific, face-to-face, full screen shots of seals or sea lions or whatever swimming underwater and trying to catch the penguins. Godzilla-like mouths. All these teeth... crazy. So all the penguins are jumping out of this hole in the ice- popping out of the water and then running awkwardly away. So the music is all tense and all these animal lovers in the audience are on the edge of their seats whispering, "Please, please, let them all get away!" And finally, there's an above water level shot and you see the last penguin jump its little penguin body out of the water and away from a savage, seal ravaged death and everyone sighs a big sigh of relief. And THEN, out of NOWHERE, crazy seal freaking JUMPS OUT of the water, snatches the penguin, and pulls it back into the water! And everyone goes "OH NO!" And I tried for a half second to be sympathetic- seriously- but I started laughing so hard that Alison yelled at me. No offense penguins. But that crap was funny.

The end.

Things I have eaten in the past 30 minutes after work:

1. Baked Cool Ranch Doritos
2. cottage cheese
3. Lipton broccoli and chicken noodles
4. graham crackers with marshmallow Fluff
5. mini KitKat
6. mini Milky Way

My rant.

This is a bitter entry. Don't read it if you don't want to listen to me complain. You've been warned...

So... it would be really nice to be interested in someone and not only have them be interested back, but to be able to DO something about it... THAT would be nice. In the last few years, guys I have dated, (or more like non-dated as they were never totally established), have included a co-worker, an athiest, and a guy who was more interested in aquatic plants than me (oh- ask me to tell you that story in person...). I am not sure why I end up around guys who I know I would never date seriously, (I just want a Christian boy who makes me laugh!)- it's a bit messed up. I always know it's bad when I ask my guy friends their opinons and they look at me perplexed and say something to the effect of, "Babe, I have NO idea what he's thinking" or, better yet, "Maybe he's gay..." Oh. Ok. When my trusted boys can't figure out why so-and-so is acting the way he is, I start worrying. I am somewhat concerned that if I finally do find someone I'm interested in and he feels the same AND asks me to actually do something, I might propose to him on the spot, without thinking twice. I am beginning to feel that these guys are few and far between. I must snatch one quickly.

And while we're on the subject, I would like to ask my beloved readers to please refrain from saying any of the following responses to anyone who is single: (I pray that I remember this when eventually I do find someone...)
1. Being in a relationship is really overrated anyway.
2. You're not missing out! Seriously!
3. Just wait till you're married... You'll see what I mean.
4. You're still young!
5. You've got your whole life to be worrying about that!
6. What about your friend so-and-so? He's nice... (I get this a lot because of my guy friends. I would probably kill most of them in a relationship- know them too well and heard WAY too many girl stories... :) )
7. You should do one of those online dating things!

99.9% of the people who say these things are in a relationship. While I appreciate your concern, you unfortunately lose the right to make sympathetic comments of this nature to single people once you are taken. I'm sorry. It is a better option to badmouth the guy who is hurting my feelings. I'm sorry about that too, but that's the truth. Ask any girl- it works wonders. (Until he stops being a jerk and she likes him again- then you have to pretend like you both weren't talking about how he wasn't worth it three days ago.) I am here to educate.

To end this rant on a positive note, I have made some best friends out of the guys I have non-dated. You know who you are and I am so thankful for you! :)

Also, my sister shot her first deer over the weekend. I am including a picture of her below, (with her permission). She cried even though she was proud. I told her that this was the most disgusting picture I had ever seen. And that I was going to put it on my blog immediately.

I am a martini drinking lumberjack.

Back in Kalamazoo. Went to church this morning. I love my church here. I feel so comfortable and welcome there that it doesn't matter what kind of mood I'm in- I still always want to go. On the way home yesterday I stopped and bought the two newest Shane & Shane cds. They are fab-u-lous worship cds and I have them on repeat right now on the cd player I stole from my sister when I was home and she wasn't this weekend. :) (I should insert a note here stating that my friend Dustin is personally responsible for the purchase of these cds as well as for introducing me to half of the music links I have on the right...)

I'm trying to clean my apartment and decorate today, (notice my Avatar is decorating too. She does everything I tell her), so I just wanted to post a couple of pictures and stop distracting myself. At least for about another hour... The first is of me cutting down our Christmas tree with my dad on Friday. My middle name is Lumberjack. Sara Lumberjack Hinshaw. You can start calling me Lumberjack for short if you want to. The next is from The Union last night, (where I had a rasberry truffle and a chocolate mint martini in case you wondered), out for my friend Rob's birthday. (Who, for some reason, didn't get in any of my pictures...) It is a comfortable thing to have friends like these of mine who I've had for ages now. And I love them.


And finally, a bit of C.S. Lewis's book The Four Loves which I am reading, because I think it is beautiful:
"There is indeed a peculiar charm, both in friendship and in Eros, about those moments when Appreciative Love lies, as it were, curled up asleep, and the mere ease and ordinariness of the relationship (free as solitude, yet neither is alone) wraps us round. No need to talk. No need to make love. No needs at all except perhaps to stir the fire."

I am thankful for Mango and the Mariah Carey Christmas album.

Happy Thanksgiving (yesterday)! I am at home in the house I grew up in since I was 7... and I haven't taken my pajamas off since Wednesday night. Seriously. Showering is soooo much work.

Since I am discovering what a big fan of lists I am, I will not disappoint. Here is a breakdown of what I've done since leaving my home at 4:00pm on Wednesday:
1. Drove in four hours what usually takes me two to get home. For the first two hours, I was all over the Mariah Carey Christmas album, (which prompted one guy in a truck to wave at me and laugh), for the first two hours. The second two hours I spent trying to remember the meaning of Christmas and not curse out everyone who was going 20 mph on roads that could have handled at least 50.
2. Discovered that Mango, one of my favorite European stores, is now coming to America. This was discovered in Lucky, the shopping magazine that my father buys for me whenever I come home. The first time he discovered this magazine for me he brought it home saying, "Look Sara! It's a magazine all about shopping! Just for you!" He was correct.
3. Watched 'The Interpreter'. It was pretty good- I've been wanting to see it. However, it made me have a weird fighting dream, the second one in a row. I can't remember why I was beating up the guy in my dream last night, but the night before I layed into a girl who was trying to sell me a $150 desk for $300. I'm not sure what that means. Feel free to psychoanalyze me on that one...
4. Organized my Egypt pictures into folders on my computer. This took forever. I went through over 1,100 pictures of temples, pyramids, and the Nile. 1,100. F-O-R-E-V-E-R.

And now, it is about that time where I should bathe. My dad and my plans for the day are as follows (with my dad's comments on each in parenthesis): go to see the newly renovated Flint Institute of Arts ("With a new coffee and cheesecake shop! That's all we care about anyway..."), eat at a Middle Eastern restaurant ("We can go because no one else will go with me."), Borders ("I don't like Borders anymore. They downsized their art section to just photography coffee table books and ones about how to watercolor."), and to cut down a Christmas tree ("I thought we'd just go to the Salvation Army and get one of those forever trees. Mom would love that..."). My dad is the second reason why I am still single. He's awfully hard to compete with. :)

Watch this.

Michael introduced me to this music video. Please do yourself a favor and click on the 'A Million Ways' video. It is ridiculously funny in a Napoleon Dynamite sort of way.

About my eyes...

Today I would like to talk about the fact that when I was getting ready for work this morning, I noticed that I am getting smile lines around my eyes. Thus, I will be forced in a few short years to either wear sunglasses everywhere or to never smile. I have documented this unfortunate discovery for you below. Trust me- they are there. (And I realize that I might be classifying myself as a lunatic for taking pictures of my own eyes this morning. Shut up.)

On another note, at school today two 6th graders were arguing about their answers to a math problem.
Marlon: "The answer is 10."
Antania: "Nuh-uh. The answer is 20!"
Marlon: "10."
Antania: "20!....(insert frustrated pause.) I look better'n you!"

I thought about this response and have decided that it could be applied to other situations in which frustration allows for no other logical response. For example:
1. When being pulled over for speeding: "No, I wasn't late for anything... I look better'n you!"
2. When being broken up with: "So this is it?... I look better'n you!"
3. When caught lying: "Ok, that wasn't true... I look better'n you!"

See how useful this could be? I think that she might really be on to something. It certainly shut Marlon up.

Do this.

You should all download The District Sleeps Alone Tonight by the Postal Service. For some reason, you can download it for free along with a couple of others on their website- see the link under my Music Links section on the right. Go do it now.

Birds and Bees

Today was my first day back at the school I work in as a building subsitute. I love it and missed it while I was gone. Everyone asked how my trip was and a welcome back was even printed in the weekly staff newsletter. Yesssssss...
While at school today, I helped out in a 6th grade class while they were learning about the reproductive system. (Can you feel the awkwardness?) I would like to highlight for you the following questions, which were asked in complete seriousness:
-"If you have sex RIGHT after you have a baby and you get pregnant again immediately, would it be a twin?"
-"When a pregnant woman goes pee, does she pee out the baby's pee too?"
-"Why do boys and girls have different parts?"
-"Can my testacle crack?"
-"I saw on Maury that you can be a sister and a mom to your baby... Is that true?"
Also worth mentioning was seeing a 2nd grader, a white-as-white-can-be and spastic ADD boy, come up to me with his hat on sideways, throwing what I can only assume to be an attempt at West Side gang signs with his hands, and singing "To the windooooooow, To the wall!" Fortunately for everyone involved, he stopped the song there.

After school, I went to WMU's rec to do a kickboxing class where I was disgusted with sorority girls pansy punching air. Hopefully they were taking the class for the cardio and not self defense or, if presented with an unfortunate need to defend themselves, they would pet the face of their attacker at best with those killer moves. That was a mean thing to say and yet I'm not deleting it.
I had a bubble bath with a glass of wine when I got home which I would highly advise for anyone, male or female. (You don't have to tell people you do it- just try it.) I've basically been in an incredibly good mood since getting back from Egypt and am really happy with where I am in life right now, despite the fact that I am close to broke, have no health insurance, make maybe $60 a day after taxes if I'm lucky, and am hopelessly single. :) Sometimes I feel so incredibly blessed and loved that I could just about explode. Instead, I sing really, really loudly in my car and it serves the same purpose.

Reasons why I am single.

First of all, when I first set this up, I had it so that you couldn't leave a comment unless you had a blog, but I fixed it now so.... leave one or not. I will probably be okay either way. Probably.

This morning I met Matt Labeau for lunch at Panera, then to church where everyone welcomed me back from Egypt with hugs. Tonight went to dinner with Cindy, Kevin, and 3 other baseball boys at Burdick's where I got the Wisconsin Chicken which is this fried, breaded chicken stuffed with 3 cheeses and is basically the best dinner ever- aside from Olde Penninsula burgers with beer-battered fries which, I stand firm on, is the best anywhere. Especially if you order the apple pandowdy dessert afterwards. Seriously- don't you just love food?

As a side note, I love my guy friends, but I have reached the conclusion that it is their fault that I am single.
Reason #1: I hear all the girl stories from behind the scenes. One of my friends (who shall remain nameless...) once went on a date with three girls. On the same day. And none of them knew about the other. It is actually kind of impressive.
Reason #2: They tell me about all the things they say to girls, but don't really mean. These reasons vary from trying to get rid of a girl and not knowing how to do it to just not knowing what to do when they like a girl but don't really want to be in a relationship. Pat's motto (for everything, but especially regarding issues with the opposite sex) is, "It'll work itself out." :) We girls just eat it up and hear/see what we want. Ex) "Maybe he really is busy. Probably his computer broke and his cell phone got lost. Maybe someone broke into his house and STOLE his computer and cell! Awww! I hope he's ok!"
Reason #3: Guys have an uncanny ability to semi-like a girl and stay in some semblance of a relationship with them for an incredibly long time. I don't know how many times I've said this to one of my guy friends, "Yes, but WHY are you dating her if you don't even really LIKE her?" Responses usually go something like this, "Um...." or "I'm not really sure." or "She's nice, I guess." Hmmm....

Thus, I am unfairly skeptical of anything said to me that might fall into one of these categories. I am sorry to anyone I will date in the future that you will have to prove yourself to me. Talk to my guy friends. It's all their fault. Someday maybe I will name all of my cats after them.

And because that entry was kind of negative, I will leave you with a picture of me with one of my new Egyptian friends. The scarf thing was his idea... You can tell I was pretty psyched about it too though.

Yesterday I rode a camel.

As I was the last person on earth without an online journal, I have decided to live it up and get one of my own. As I am jet lagged beyond belief from arriving back from my 2 week trip to Egypt today, (which was absolutely amazing by the way), I'll make this a short entry and throw some pictures on for good measure.

Top 5 List of Shallow Reasons I'm Glad to be Back in the States:
1. I can use my good eye make-up remover instead of the crap I got for travelling because of it's small sized bottle that feels, essentially, like rubbing vegetable oil on your eyes. (Resist the urge to experience that sensation and take my word for it.)
2. I no longer experience the cramping sensation of someone ramming a pitchfork repeatedly into my upper torso area.
3. I can throw toilet paper into the toilet instead of a trashcan.
4. I can indulge in my lip gloss obsession in public without fear of being thought a slutty.
5. There are no invisible insects biting my face, resulting in large, red welts.

I'll do a Top 5 Things I'll Miss About Egypt list when I'm not falling onto the keyboard from fatigue. (Which reminds me of this show I saw while over there about a dog with narcolepsy so bad that it couldn't take more than a few steps before falling, face first, onto the ground. It was equally disturbing and hilarious.)



Camel & Sara, BFF! (Best Friends Forever for those not in the know...)
King Tut's Tomb in Valley of the Kings (notice my Indiana Jones-ish hat which made me doubly as cool.)
My much loved Arabic boys: Jesse, Tim, & Pat
Um... this is me, and a crocodile, and an Egyptian man.
Why hello Sphinx! So nice to meet you!